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Monday, September 10, 2012
rants

Sometimes, I feel so stupid, so inefficient at how I do stuff. I am okay(not okay but the I cant help it but to be okay okay) with being inefficient at doing my own things (at least I only have myself to blame, messing my own life), but that sense of guilt whereby I can't even get something done well for a friend is so huge I am drowning and feeling so bad. That reminds me, I have something on hand that needs to be done quick too. Sigh, procrastinator level 20 unlocked. I am getting so bad and sluggish I have a feeling this will turn out to be my greatest regret when the time where the results will show and so to prevent this.. giving my notes another go.

Blogger is truly my virtual best friend. I turn to you whenever I need to rant and leash out my feelings. Especially when you cant turn to the bf so that you can avoid a quarrel, and stuff that are so minute but yet so important to no one but yourself. 



3:49 PM
Saturday, March 3, 2012


Hey look!

Its already March, so clichéd but how time fly.
Didn't have a good night sleep cos I was worrying far too much about the workload but guess what leads me to me here? My lack of friend-concentration.

The weird thing is I dint have much fun all week. So what have I been doing? I swear my memory is failing. I miss carefree days. Another two months before I can have them back.

Current desktop photo? Me and My BFFS posing with fake strawberries
sidenote: Shiya, Justin was saying why your feet also posing and with effort cos so many lines on the feet HAHA (but I don't think you can see it from here)


tata~
till then

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11:12 AM
Saturday, January 21, 2012

Hey, its been too long since this space is ever updated.
The burning need to write on this space arises from a very stupid thought of mine. Not going to list it out cos I am going to sound really racist or bad. Really stupid.

Sigh..

And I also kind of regretted cleaning up my shelves.. cos I found many old photographs and items that brought back lots of memories. I was just looking through this album and then I saw the photo where we took with Mr Ng. And then I realise i dreamt of him last night. And in the dream, I saw him for a second and I shuddered cos even in my semi-conscious mind, I knew he had gone. So I actually saw with my own eyes that he is sitting there and I am ashamed to say I was afraid. He has been a really really great teacher. I look up to him. If only there was someone there to be a listening ear for him, then his life might not have ended up that way. I didn't dare to look at him at the funeral.

If not for finding the photo, I would have only remembered the happy part of my dream. That J actually went through a lot with the help of my friends to plan his proposal to me. I woke up feeling really happy and instantly messaged him about it. Its been so long since i dreamt of happy stuffs.

But on the other hand, I should not say that I regretted cleaning the shelves, cos it made me realise that even if a person is gone, he or she lives in our heart still. Although we do not always have them in our mind but they have been part of our lives.

While cleaning, I also found photographs taken back when I was with other guys. And then I start to think.. when I marry, I don't suppose I can keep any of them anymore? What should I do with them then? I cant bring myself to throw them away definitely. Simply because they bring back good memories. Everything is so innocent back then. It must have been puppy love right? Though I don't know what puppy love is but since we were so young then. Although I knew I was heartbroken when I was left to be alone back then. (By which it means I was dumped). SO, those who married with their first love will have no such worries of having to throw out their- ex lover gifts and letters and blah..lucky....
I am going to sound really pathetic, but I hope I would not get dumped again. Just a random nagging thought of mine.


The funny thing about blogging is that I will never read back what I wrote. So i should say, all these negative thoughts shall leave me and stay here. where i wont ever read it again. It sure feels good to type everything out.


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12:50 PM
Friday, March 18, 2011

Was on the bus today when I saw a stray dog crossing the road. Thank goodness the driver was alert and stopped in time but the dog looked so frightened. I have the urge to alight from the bus and carry the dog off the road but I didn't do it in the end. Felt so guilty later on :( hope that the dog is safe and sound.
Touched when I saw the video of how the dog stayed beside his injured friend.
Angry when I heard how the foreign worker abused the dog.
Sad when it was finally put to sleep.
How can it be called put to sleep? Sleep is when you expect him to wake up a few hours later or the next day.
I don't expect people to worship, pamper them or whatsoever, just treat them right.
.
.
AND I NEED A NEW WARDROBE.
My grandma gave me 7 bags, 4 pairs of shoes and a luggage full of clothes :D able to last me for a month I think. Whoohoo.



8:24 PM
Wednesday, February 9, 2011


RAINING HEAVILY!

DRENCHED DRENCHED DRENCHED.


10:27 PM

I NEED TO RANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why didn't I buy that number today :((((((((((((((((
I bought it for the past few weeks but stopped this week because I didn't go out.
SECOND PRIZE OMG. Heartache ttm!!!! I could have won a thousand bucks. Oh mannnnnn.
I seldom buy 4d but this time I kept buying that number (for like 3 weeks already?) Cus it appeared in my dream.
oh why why why why why why I CAN'T GET OVER IT. Kept thinking about it.
urgh!! help!
.
shiya........... THANK YOU!!!!!!!!! hahahah check your email!!!
.
TLY
MOOD: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!


10:16 PM
Sunday, February 6, 2011

why am i upset once again???????
unfair unfair unfair
unpopular unpopular
mouth shut mouth shut
:( :(

i hate it.
i hate this feeling.
i hate myself for having this feeling.
i hate it.


1:49 AM
that's us.


Even though the tides may fall. Even though the grass will wilt. Even though we will die. we will always be friends forever.. tan li ying AND michelle cheng




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